Should parental notification be mandatory for under aged children requesting an abortion?

Total Voters: 1503 Yes 25% No 25% Undecided 25% Amanda 01/11/08 8:06am So what do you all think needs to be done about the gang ****? I just had a friend of mine shot in the head..wrong place at the wrong time...he wasn't into gang stuff at all Bam Bam 01/11/08 6:09am Oh yeah....the tv's in cars. I actually saw someone driving down 77 with one of those in the front seat! Bam Bam 01/11/08 6:07am I visited a friend in SC and I cannot beleive the amount of cell phone drivers there are. It was so outrageous. Every car you see someone has their hand to their ear, they are weaving on the road or sitting at a stop light when it's already green. There was an accident in SC where a group of teens was driving (and sniffing) and the driver got on her cell phone to OMG TEXT SOMEONE and they crashed killing some of her friends. The mother actually tried to destroy evidence later after charges were brought against her daughter. Zera ;-) 01/10/08 11:36pm In Denmark is Cell phones while driving against the law. Its discussed wether hand free n such should be included in the law aswell. Reason when u speak on phone u are basically more focussed on the conversation than ur driving. Accident rates has increased too, so the numbers 4 a FULL law against any kind of cell phone activity while driving is there. Black on white. When I drive, I do NOT use it nor respone b4 I can pull over n reply. If I have no chance to pull over, too bad 4 the caller. Either they have to call back or wait 4 me to call them up. No call is as important as once n other peoples lives. Driving n talking on cell no matter what way, is like drinking n driving. LETHAL!!! Amanda 01/10/08 8:52am Don't they have those t.v gizmo's you can watch and drive at the same time??????? Oh, and this'll make any of you who live where there are city buses feel great. Lots of drivers love to have their c.d. player and their ear gear in while they drive Thomas 01/10/08 7:07am No kidding. They say the handsfree phones and Bluetooth are okay, but they're full of s***. They are just marketing to people who HAVE TO make that super important phone call while they're driving seventy in traffic. You need ALL of your senses. In Missouri it's illegal too. I think if you talk on the phone while you're driving, you should have your license taken away. This is just too much. Amanda 01/10/08 5:48am When I lived in Jacksonville I was crossing the street. Not a major one mind you but just a regular two lane residential street. This woman had a car load of people, music blasting and was on the cell phone. She came close to hitting a car that actually had the right of way and then running me over!!!! I mean we didn't used to have cell phones, what is so important you have to talk and drive at the same time now? Bam Bam 01/09/08 6:08pm They seriously need to enforce it and use the money for better highways. I've seen so many people in accidents caused by cell phone drivers. There's no way you can pay attention while you dial and drive. Did you know the law says you have to have both hands on the wheel? Well, if one is holding a cell phone your breaking the law. But, they don't care until someone dies. Amanda 01/09/08 4:51pm I know in Georgia, Florida and Arkansas it is illegal, just not enforced!!!!! Bam Bam 01/09/08 7:43am I agree this ones done! How about Do you think cell phone driving should be legally governed? Something like...you can only talk on the cell phone and drive if you have a hands free voice activated device. That would be a good Poll. Zera ;-) 01/09/08 12:51am NEW POLL PLZ thanx Amanda 01/07/08 4:22pm You're right Bam Bam..it is just that..a pipe dream. All one can do is take care of their own, hope you have taught them well, be as honest about everything as possible and pray a lot. These services are vital to those who have no where else to go and no one to turn to. Sickening, but true Bam Bam 01/07/08 3:50pm Absolutely, it effects all parents and all children regardless of their relationship. No one is saying these places aren't vital, but, as with everything it begins in the home. Albeit there are parents who simply don't react well..there is no magic bullet solution for that either. It doesn't change the fact that parents not only have a right to know, they should know. If more parents were proactive in their childrens lives perhaps the need for these places would deteriorate. But that is such a pipe dream. Amanda 01/07/08 8:56am Another thing is this. It is all well fine and good to say what parents should do. But the hard fact is that these counciling places are in place for the reason than many children cannot talk to their parents and get their education from their peers. Now, unless someone here has a majick bullet that will make every single person in America all of a sudden be the best parent and talk to their kids, then these centers are vital and needed for those who are not so lucky. For the parents that do have this wonderful relationship with their kids then I would suppose this is something that really wouldn't affect you or your children now would it? Amanda 01/06/08 11:18am Firstly we have had that chat, and we do talk about many things that are very important. The message seems to be lost on everyone that what I am saying is that I am not willing to gamble what, in a situation like that, with all of these hormones that would have have gotten her to where she would be, plus additional ones firing through her brain, to think on any regular level. She literally may not want to say a word to anyone about anything. With things like hormones and fear running rampant through the brain to me everything is a wild card, she may come crying to me, then again she may not. No one, not anyone ever knows what they would do until the moment they are faced with a situation. I would like to think she'd talk to me about what was going on, just like with the birth control and all, but she just may not...therefor I want her to have whatever available to her should she choose to have an abortion. It is her body too, just like this one is mine. If she felt for whatever reason that she just couldn't face me or tell me then okay. She doesn't owe me that you know...she may be young but she is a human in her own right. Bam Bam 01/06/08 6:40am I am reading allot of phrases like "I hope my child will tell me" why not go to your child right now and tell them "I don't under any circumstances want this to happen to you, but, if it does I want you tell me so I can help you no matter what you decide". Take the power back into your hands, don't leave it to chance as "I hope they'll tell me". Take control now so your children won't ever fear telling you let them know outloud I am here for you. We cannot help all children, but, we can do our best to protect them. I think making a law that would allow the secrecy so as to proctect the few will harm the many. As for GAL's which part of the government do you think is going to get in on that one? Again, that is putting the counseling in a strangers hand when it belongs at home. Parents need to get up off their asses and be parents. Stop the blubber baby BS excuses and do your damn job. They are your offspring take care them and stop leaving it up to society to make rules some parents are too ingnorant or scared to make. Kids respect authority when it's applied structurally and with love. I am not my kids friend, I am their mother and I act like it. Period. I can't stop certain abusive parents but I'll be darned if I let someone take my parental rights and authority away. Also, don't confuse maternal with sue happy. Prosecuting someone for a medical procedure on a minor should be criminal. When I say sue the SOB I don't mean for money. Amanda 01/05/08 6:10am Thomas I am concidering the ultimate consequences as a parent and as someone who has been around a while. The facts are the fact. There are horrible parents out there..you cannot make that go away or act like it isn't there. There are parents who will not talk to their children. My parents was one set of them. When my breasts started to develope I thought I have breast cancer and I learned about my menstruel cycle through a health class in Jr. high..that is how much my parents talked to me about the changes you go through and I can safely say there are yet more parents out there just like that and worse! Now, here are the real options. Not ones we dream up or what have you, but the real deal is this. If teens notifying their parents becomes mandatory and they cannot get a legal abortion then they will simply seek it elsewhere just like young women did in the 50's and 60's before abortion became legal. There is no telling how many young women died and were rendered sterile due to punctures in the uterine wall, infections, hemmoraging and who knows what else. Now..when I look at that and I look at the fact that maybe, just maybe my daughter wouldn't want to tell me...I would like to think she would but she may not, you never know.. I want her to above all else be in a safe environment and to be taken care of. I can deal with my emotions later. It isn't about me it is about her and her rights and what she feels she needs at that time. You can never tell why your child does not wish to tell you something..guilt, shame, what have you even if you have done the best you can to teach them...things happen. I am not a gambling woman. I would not like to see this mandatory because I know teens too well...they will do as they will regardless. I at least want a legal safe option there for them should they choose it. Thomas 01/04/08 8:48pm Then again, why can't parents simply talk to their children the way modern televised state sponsered advertisments suggest? Perhaps that may nip this problem in the bud. Parents will often say that they can't talk to their children. The kids are spiteful and resentful and don't listen. The problem is that these parents don't talk to their children; they talk at them. A parent must always be the authoritarian because what does the child know at her age? Parents really don't understand, just as their children suggest. Here's what they don't understand: They don't understand the concept of simply talking. It's called a conversation. For those that don't know the difference, the words "You know, when I was your age..." generally are understood to be the beginning of a lecture: talking AT the child. Parents also try to relate their past experiences to a child's problem. It's a good start, but it's unwise to attempt this method if you don't know what the problem is. Kids won't tell you what the problem is? Perhaps, from their perspective, you sound more like a cop interrogating them than a friend asking, "What's up". Thus, the concerned parent persona takes on a distinct personality: an interrogator that likes to lecture. Parents have experiences that are relevant to the situation, but they really are unique and a failure to recognize this fact often will lead to friction. No, you did not go through the exact same thing when you were my age. An interrogator that likes to lecture and is bound and determined to see his or her own faults in the child. Is it any surprise that the kid doesn't want her parents to know? Planned Parenthood clinics provide a wealth of information. They even help the child to figure out what is best. Parent finds out. Parent blows up. Amanda, it's not that I don't see the wisdom of your view, but are you even considering the ultimate consequences? A child traumatized by furious parents, who are sue happy and ready to go after the clinic (for the which the potential for domestic terrorism alone is staggering) and a state that clearly sends the message the wishes of your parents aren't important. Is anything important? Here's a possibility: perhaps we can start assigning Guardian Ad Litems to these girls, the way they do in child custody cases to represent the best interests of the child (never trust a GAL. They always favor the abuser. Any GALs in here? I'll never believe a word any of you say.) This way, we can placate everyone. What other decisions do we leave parents out of? Are they even necessary anymore? Perhaps the child really does know better than the parent. Bam Bam 01/04/08 8:12am The consequences I was referring to was this: No matter which way you slice this each choice is an evil. I would rather my daughter come to me ( I realize this is not a perfect world some parents would abuse the minor) but either way the child is a minor and needs our protection. We cannot base decisions soley on the fact that there are some kids out there that might be disadvantaged by this. I don't think those kids would get a back alley abortions though...more than likely they would find someone to pose as a parent to get a signature. Or they would do like some kids are doing today (look at that Ohio teen) hide the pregnancy and kill the baby at birth and say I had no idea I was pregnant. Kids these days are real resourceful and tactful liars don't kid yourself. Anyway you look at this it's all evil. Amanda 01/04/08 7:38am Misskittykat, let me ask you this. What would be worse to you, assuming your daughter felt she could not tell you and went through with the abortion anyway, the fact she saw a doctor and had it done the safest way possible, or she went to a back street abortionist and had who knows what done to her? In reality these are the choices facing us as this question is stated. Personally, I have a daughter, but above all her being able to have what she needs in the safest and legal way possible far outways what I would want for her. Sure I'd want to know, but not at the cost of taking away a legal choice she may feel she needs to make and choosing someone who has no clue what they are doing in an unsterile environment and using who knows what on her. Misskittykat 01/03/08 10:46pm YES! schools here in NZ do ask to give a disprin, if a doctor gave my daughter an abortion I would be motified! Not at the decision that my child has made but that I was unable to help advise and support her during the fact, these indeed are dangerous opperations and I'd want to at the very least "HOLD HER HAND"! Amanda 01/03/08 7:05pm Consequence of making parental notification mandatory- Increase of back street illegal abortions which made Roe vs Wade necessary to begin with- Increase in child abuse and abandonment (abuse not alway by the teen but by parents and clergy as well) increase of teen mortality rate and permanent damage to reproductive organs. Consequences of not doing so- Giving teens safe, legal abortions without fear of parental abuse or neglect, freedom from unwanted children and/or possible adoptions that began as abortions not only the untold lives of young girls it will save who will not have to seek out the coke bottle or coat hanger method. Bam Bam 01/02/08 5:33pm And in all cases good or bad we must face the consequences of our actions. Amanda 01/02/08 3:37pm Which would mean that they are not going to listen to anyone...even after the fact. I suppose as I said earlier, I'd have to side on making this sort of notification voluntary. Like was stated earlier..kids (teens) think they know it all and they WILL find a way to abort a baby with or without medical help. At least this way their chances of proper care are far greater than not. Bam Bam 01/02/08 1:22pm I've gone to planned parenthood I know what they have to offer, including the birth control. The question here is are the kids listening or understanding the information? If they are pregnant odds are they are not; they think they know it all...I did at least. Amanda 01/02/08 9:33am I keep seeing people saying these teens are uniformed and all of that. I have asked once before and will again. Has anyone actually taken the time to go to a planned parenthood facility and see what they have to offer teens in the way of education. Be real, if you think saying 'don't do it' is deterrent enough it isn't. There is a lot of info out there...try looking it up. Melodydragon 01/01/08 1:24pm I don't think it should be mandatory as their is no way to be certain of the relationship between the child and her parent/s. It could also cause more stress to the child and could also be damaging to the future relationship between child and parent/s if they are forced into making a decision that they feel is wrong. Bam Bam 12/31/07 12:53pm Jeff allow me to correct. I absolutely think it should be mandatory for parents to be notified if an underage child was to have this procedure. As I stated earlier, if I found out a Dr. did that to my own I'd sue the SOB and if at all possible have him discredited to perform medicine anywhere. I can't speak for other parents, but, I can speak for myself as to how I'd handle myself and how I'd counsel my child. Amanda 12/31/07 6:13am One question; has anyone actually gone to any of the planned parenthood places in their communities and found out just what is available in as far as information? You may just be suprised at what you find. Jeff 12/29/07 4:38pm Correct me if I'm wrong, but Bam Bam does not believe parent notification should be mandatory for Children seeking an abortion. As I stated before, if parental nofication is mandatory for children requesting aspirin in school, it's that much more important that parents be involved when a child seeks an abortion. Thomas summed it up quite well. Thomas 12/29/07 11:42am I simply must agree with Bam Bam on this. In the society we live in, a child is not going to have all the information available and is going to have woefully limited resources. A parent may not always know what is best, but is always likely to act in what they feel to be the best interest of their child, though this is by no means an absolute and that is a shame. Abortion is a very dangerous proceedure that leaves many women scarred for life, not to mention the emotional trauma they must experience. Of course, it's not always a question of irresponsibility as there is rape to consider as a possible reason for pregnancy. Perhaps abortion is not the best option and perhaps it is. Who am I to say? But where it is a question of responsibility, who's judgement are you going to trust? Will it be the girl who didn't use birth control and a condom or will it be the parent (truth be be told, the parent is not entirely blameless in this matter though penalizing them would be the same as crying over spilt milk. After all, nobody's perfect)? St@r, your suggestion that a parent should be informed but not allowed to make the decision is simply the same as telling someone that their daughter is jumping off a cliff and then arresting them for trying to stop her. It's major surgery and the parents do have rights. St@r** 12/28/07 8:22pm Bam Bam< I feel that the parents should be informed but not allowed to decide for their daughter. Bam Bam 12/28/07 6:19pm Laws are there for a reason. Usually because people don't have the good sense to do what is right..like raise their children with basic moral values and self love. For a loose example: Currently there are no laws regarding cell phone usage while driving in most states until one too many persons are killed because of drivers who don't have sense enough not to "Dial and Drive." Laws are made after the fact in most cases where people think they can do what they want becuase they think they know better. When laws are broken that too is our choice. Right now abortion is legal and I believe it shouild remain that way even though I don't agree with it. However, I will take charge and responsibility to raise my children with my beliefs and hopefully prevent them from finding themselves in a situation that would promote secrecy and lies. Promoting a head in the sand attitude is a train wreck waiting to happen. Open lines of communication is the best...not all children will agree with their parents and when they are 18 and on their own they can (as my mother said to me..yes I was rebellious) do what you want. Until that time..kids are our repsonsiblity and they deserve our experience and knowledge. Who is the adult here anyway??? The underage pregnant know it all??? Amanda 12/28/07 5:15pm The problem comes into play when we try to inflict what our *morals and values* are on complete strangers. It's fine to say what goes on in your own house, but it isn't to make laws that prohibit others from exercising their own right to choose. We have confidential clinics and counciling for minors for a very good reason...anyone care to take a guess at what that reason may be? Because over all it is a rarity that a child feels open enough to talk with their parents. Oddly enough all too often the parents feel exactly the opposite.. Gwen 12/28/07 4:08pm I see no reason that a sexually active teenager should notify her parents to have an abortion. There are many parents who may try to talk the teenager out of such a decision....and it needs to be her decision. The good thing about teenagers having abortions is that they receive mandatory birth control....thus keeping such a thing from happening again. In many families this is best left unsaid. By the way, I'm 51. I've seen many families ruin the lives of their teenagers by applying their guilt and moral values. Kids should not have kids. Bam Bam 12/28/07 2:58pm St@r** I appreciate your candor about your past. But the question wasn't about that. Do you think parental notification be mandatory for under aged children requesting an abortion? You we're 22; you weren't under aged. What are your thougts on that? St@r** 12/28/07 2:20pm I had an abortion at the age of 22. My birth control failed because I was on antibotics. It was my choice then and it should be a woman's choice now!! We should not make decisions for other people, we do live in America. Even the homeless and the criminals would rather be in the streets here or in the jails here. The God that I beleive and love is a loving and forgiving God who knows that we are not perfect and that the world is not either. He will not shoot me down, because I have had an abortion. I have a 6 year old now and would not trade my child for the world. If I became pregant now I may choose to have another abortion, because this world is a cold, evil, and scary place and bringing another innocent baby into it is the last thing I want to do!! In fact at times I find myself apologizing to my child for all the bad things that are going on in this world today. Life is hard enough for us women now a days with the date rape drugs, rapests, and other assholes that think they are God's gift to women and don't forget the bosses that think you need to **** you way to the top. Before I was married I was raped by an ex of mine, I was sexually abused by a family member, sexually harrassed by many a co-woker. If any 1 of these horrible things would have gotten me pregnant I would be releived to know that I had choices other than having a baby that was not conceived out of love. Thomas 12/27/07 6:15am Well, there's a few reasons for that, Bam Bam. I have no real animosity towards Christians and if you were to observe me at more sites, you would note that I really don't talk about them except when I am discussing history and they become part of the subject, or other such things. I was once Christian and I didn't stop being Christian because of any real dislike. I had a spiritual awakening. I had a series of sudden, shocking and disturbing realizations about certain observable aspects of the world. As a a Christian, I had always known the Bible had been written by men, but I never really understood that. I believed in the colorful fairy tale everyone always told me that God talked through man. I ultimately realized that the Bible was a just what it appeared to be: a book. It was a book tht contained no real inate truth, but certain pieces of wisdom. The bulk of the books of the Old Testament Bible are derived from the Babylonian Zohar and Torah, books which are important to the Jewish people, but are considered lies by modern Christiandom. That's the thing about Christians. Anything that isn't Christian is obviously of Satan. Even Buddhism, the most peaceful religion on Earth is a spawn of Satan. I have found that this way of thinking goes even beyond the fundies into the most tolerant and accepting Christian. Next, the Pro-Life position is entirely Christian. If you don't believe me, Google "pro-life" and see what you find. You see government funded organizations accusing non-christians, unbelievers and lost souls of murder and even child sacrifice for religious purposes. Keep reading! These people have the support of congress and in one case, the President himself has something to say about it. It is several pages before you see a Pro-Life sight that even mentions non-Christians in a positive light. This is far beyond your concept of child or choice. Pro-Choice activists are defending themselves from the equivilant of a real Salem Witch Hunt. Laws are being enacted that shamelessly violate our constitutional freedom of religion, while under the guise of protecting America from dangerous cults (If they really wanted to protect us from a dangerous cult, they would focus their efforts on Scientology). Several of these sites would have you believe that we take the dead baby corpses and use them in our rituals! These are people who would bring back the burning times. Yes, I'm targeting Christians. I feel physicaly threatened by them, because I am not Christian. All non-Christians do. Christians are hostile to us. Don't believe it? Try suggesting to your pastor the desire to convert to Taoism or Hinduism. See what happens. I practice witchcraft, not because I follow any particular religion that requires it. I don't. I practice it because it has turned out to be the most effective way of focusing my thoughts and strengthening my mental capabilities. You worship a one God, while Pagans worship a God and Goddess. While I do believe that there are a multitude of gods and goddesses (I believe that they are likely why Christians believe in angels) I do not worship them because I think they are spirits, wise and ancient, but not gods. I believe in a Divine Source. It is neither masculine nor feminine. It is beyond such things. It created nothing. The universe simply exists as a result of its existence. We all came from it and we journey the cosmos, learning the secrets of our existence and once we have learned our purpose, we will no longer need to be here (why I believe in reincarnation since this goal could not possibly be achieved in a single lifetime and I have come realize that wiser people may be older spirits.). A single Bible is not the answer, but only part of it. Our understanding must be fully rounded and diverse if it is to be whole. I have been called evil and satanic for believing this way, and then I learned the full extent of it. We live in a Christian nation and I have fewer rights than a Christian whether you believe it or not and whether you like it or not. We only have freedom of religion if it is one of the federally accepted religions. We can be any religion we want as long as it is Christian, Muslim, or Jew. Religions too small too provide significant commerce such as Wicca and unclassifiables such as myself don't count. Bam Bam 12/26/07 8:41pm Thomas why do you only target Christians? Thomas 12/25/07 9:50pm First, let me say that I think parents should be notified. If nothing else, the child is living under their roof, laws are preventing them from being anywhere else (safely) and the parents are lawfully responsible for the child's decision. Abortion may not be the child's only alternative. This is the issue and any other issue is off topic. This is all I have to say on this particular issue, so now I have to go OT. Now for what is right and wrong. If the mother's life is in danger as a result of pregnancy, either due to illness or disorder, then by all means, have an abortion. I don't like the idea of abortion. I never have. To me, it's killing the child, but then again, unless I'm the father, I'm not the one who is going to be responsible for it. I may have a problem with abortion, but I also have a problem with arrogance. An example of arrogance would be if I held any of you to my standards. That would be arrogance. You are not me and for me to hold you to my moral and ethical standards is unfair and just plain inscrutible. We can go over hypothetical scenario after hypothetical scenario in favor of or against abortion. Here's one. There is a Planned Parenthood that offers free medical (including abortions) assistance down the street. If a girl in the ghetto gets raped and gets pregnant, what does she do? Does she have the child and raise it in an unsafe and insecure environment, where at least 90 percent of the people she must associate with on a daily basis are willfully involved in a severe federal violation? Does she get an abortion? If she has the child, will the child grow to be as useless as the gang bangers he must associate with? Will she be able surpass the lessons of her peers and teach her child to be a better person? What are the chances the child will even survive to adulthood? Which do you think is most likely? The pro-lifer's argument: if we can properly educate these people in these areas, then we can create a safer environment for the child. I agree completely. What's your plan? When do we start? Come on, you're the idea person. You don't have a plan. The reason this hasn't happened yet is because not enough people care enough to make the difference needed and what's more, it's not possible anyway. Why? Because harmony isn't possible. It requires all humans to express the same thought, the same idea and same sense of morals and ethics. You let a child be born where the only viable solution is to put it into an overtasked and corrupt state foster care program. Do you think you can make a difference? Try it. I have. Prepare to be disappointed. Stop fighting the impossible wars. Pick the battles you can win. Believe anything you want. You can be pro-life all you want. When it comes to making a decision, don't force anyone to live up to your standards. If you know better than person getting the abortion, then tell her your story. Tell her about your botched abortion, but always keep in mind that matter how much her situation seems like yours, it's different. She's not you. Tell her your views. If you force your views on anyone, you're no better than an Inquisitor. I get told all the time by Christians about evil and sin and evil people and sinners. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." (Luke 6:37 NIV) "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye yet pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother 'here, let me take the speck out of your eye' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:3-5 NIV) It seems that every Christian I hear about follows every tennet of the Bible except the ones above and the ones that preach peace. If you wish to burn me for my witchery, then burn me. If you wish to force women to have children when they seek an abortion, then do so, but if you do it in the name of the Bible, then you are a hypocrite. What gives you the right? Let me let you in on a little secret: you are not on a mission from God or Goddess. You are here to learn. Teach others so that they may learn from you. Do not force people to do what you would have them do. Don 12/24/07 8:14pm Without a doubt, abortion is wrong; However the question here is not about whether it is right or wrong. Yes, definately a parent should be notified because they are responsible for their underage child. Sherri 12/24/07 7:55pm A baby isnt a mistake its a blessing from god and who are we to throw a beautiful angel away like trash there are lots of people who want a baby and can't have one abortions are selfish murders of little helpless angels from god Xoliswa 12/23/07 11:31pm As quick easy solution as it seems, abortion is NEVER a good idea. It may be quick to be done, however the damage it does is not as easy to get past. To all the females out there, protect yourselves and if it does happen that you get into an irreversable situation, believe me being strong and having the baby is the better option (itts difficult to be a mom, but its more rewarding than an having an abortion). Children are a gift (as cliche as that is, its the truth) and believe me having an abortion will only scar you for life. Ive had an abortion before and that was 4 years ago, even now i stilll regret it and think what if i had had my baby and didnt give in to the weakness from pressure. I went through a very tough depression phase trying to fill that empty spot i created by having an abortion. Cause thats what it does, it eats you up inside and you can pretend all u want that it doesnt bother you, but what if you find out u cant have anymore children because of some damage, how u gonna feel knowing that you could have had a chance to beacome a parent and YOU messed it up because you could do the deed but couldnt handle the heat. Then what makes it worse is seeing couples with their children happy and YOU are alone or maybe u had an abortion because of you career...what if you lose your job,,,,,what then??? My point is that the best things and most lasting things in life are the ones that are difficult to get and not so easy to handle, ones that you have to fight for. Pregnancy does that to a person who is not ready to have a baby. It confuses a person, to the point that that person ends up making a huge mistake. That person was me and im just as human as all women are. Think before you act cause the consequences may be really heavy. I have a daughter now and as a parent i advise all parebts to talk to their children about everything, dont allow them to learn formthe streets, the chances of them getting the wrong info, are very high. Be there for your children, support them in every decision they make. Patti 12/23/07 7:07am I think some of the root of this problem is the trash in the media. If you don't want your child to have/make babies, take a look at what your children are watching on TV, playing on video games, watching at the movies, wearing, etc. Advertisers know that sex sells. We, as parents, can shut the TV off or say "no" to things they want to buy/wear/see. Some of the girls going to elementary school are dressed like prostitutes with micro-skirts, low-cut, spaghetti-strap shirts, and high heels. What a surprise that our babies are making babies!!!!! If we start boycotting some of the trash, then Hollywood and the clothing manufacturers will start losing money and stop producing that trash. Of course, it's important that we teach our children early about good values, also. If you were a teen parent, let your child know about your struggles for education and survival. Model the values you want you child to have. If you are a single parent and you're sleeping around a lot, well, your kid is going to imitate those values. Talk about the risk of AIDS, HIV, and STD's. Plus, the kind of reputation a person will have if he/she continually has sex with multiple partners. Bam Bam 12/21/07 6:08am If my kid ended up in a family way then I would support them. I just believe in doing everything possoible to encourage educated choices so as not to end up in that situation. I mean not just talking about safe sex, but, abstinance and what it's like to be a single parent if you don't use common sense. The costs involved, asking your kid what kind of lifestyle do you want to have for yourself...build what you need financially before having kids. It's not just a matter of safe sex, we need to educate on all levels of humanity and reality. Kalindi 12/20/07 9:32pm I think the key here is education. If an underage person makes up their mind to have intercourse, ther're gonna find a way to do it , whether you, the parent, approve or not. The key is to help them understand how to do it safely. Classic Harm Minimisation. As for parents knowing about underage abortion. I would want to know simply so I can support my child when they need it most. Everybody makes mistakes. Who am I to critisize? Don't get me wrong. Underage pregnancy is not a trivial thing. But it does happen. And should my child ever come home and tell me that she's pregnant, or hes gotten his partner pregnant, then I would want to be their support and not make such a hard time even harder for them. Elaina 12/20/07 8:29pm Underaged children shouldn't even be thinking about sex, let alone abortion. I don't understand most people nowadays. It seems the highlight of everyones' life is sex and money. It disgusts me. Why should we allow primal instincts to override logic when we claim to be "human" and not "animals"? We are animals, we just have better logic. I know that its part of life and all, but why do some people insist on selling their bodies? For money? That's a sad excuse. It tell me that they don't have the brain capacity to think of another way to make a living. My friend lost her virginity when she was 13 or 14. She tells me that she wont have sex unless the guy uses a condom, but if the guy's hot enough for her, she wont deny him. I don't like it one bit. It makes me want to stay single forever. To think the guy I might marry has already had sex with a dozen other females. Ew, I don't think I want him touching me. Bam Bam 12/19/07 5:56pm This is going to sound really bad..but kids having sex and getting pregnant then not telling their parents because they'll get into trouble...then they should be grown up enough to know better in the first place. I realize there are some parents out there that are abusive, that being said those parents that aren't abusive that will beat their kids butts for this perhaps should have been beating some ass in the first place. It's just as much their fault for their kids bad choices as the child. But, then who's around to smack the parents. Someone has to be an adult here. Children are children till they are legally adults (18) period...THEY are OUR responsibilty..they only know the rules we teach and enforce. Merry Christmas Everyone!! Sarah 12/19/07 12:09pm I'm now 28 years old. When I was a minor, I was able to get birth control without my parent's consent. I believe, in my situation, this helped a great deal because if my parents would had to have been involved, I would've rather depended solely on condoms. My friends all did the same thing I did and none of them became pregnant as minors. When it comes to abortion, when I was a minor, I could not imagine discussing the subject with my parents. They were alcoholic and abusive. Telling them if I was pregnant would have been just another excuse for them to beat me. I believe that most parents are good parents. In a perfect world, all children should tell their parents everything. This is not a perfect world and forcing minors to get consent for abortion puts some people in danger. Amanda 12/16/07 6:38pm That is a good point Coco. When exactly is a child not a child? You can drive at 16, be tried as an adult at 18, can't drink a beer until 21, but can enlist in the services at 18 as well as vote.......and can even have a felony at the age of 10 (article I read on another site about a young girl who was cutting her luch with a steak knife. She is now a felon). So, there you have just some of the varying ages...and then add an unwanted pregnancy to the mix. I mean you can as a minor get birth control and councilling and exams free and discreet..they aren't required to tell your parents. I do agree that I would rather see the stranger council my child then a guy with a coat hanger. Cocco 12/16/07 5:31pm A child is a child until when? The day before their 18th birthday? The day after? Better they be able to get assistance by a clinical provider than a back-alley-abortionist. Although, that said-most contraception is free......but they were to stupid to use it. Chastity begins at home! C Bam Bam 12/16/07 4:24pm Well Said Jeff; I wholeheartedly agree with that. Children are far too young to make that decision on their own and I don't think a stranger should counsel them on what's best for them either. But then that would again require the parents being in on the situation. If laws keep going the way they seem to be...there will be no need for parents anymore since our responsibilites (for those parents who want the duty) will be completely usurped. Jeff 12/16/07 10:54am A child's decision? I think not. A child is under the care and supervision of their parents or legal guardians until they are on their own, and until that happens, all decisions affecting their lives should be made by the parent. That said, unfit parents are a completely different issue, and there are ways to deal with them legally. Children are unfit to make a decision like getting an abortion. Parents on the other hand have wisdom and experience and are RESPONSIBLE for their child until they are 18. Amanda 12/15/07 9:47am My point exactly Diamond. I would have to look it up but I think the laws change a bit with pregnancy. And as far as medical care goes a minor can have a pap test and get the pills without parental consent. Diamond Princess 12/15/07 4:33am I think no, because some parents may not approve of their child getting an arbortion, but it's the childs decission whether or not they're ready to become a parent. That's the main the way we end up with unfit parents because they didn't want children in the firat place. Meryl 12/14/07 9:47pm Of course no, children can learn many things like their horoscope and children that are interested in tarot card in ...mysticgames.... and they well see there iq test Jeff 12/14/07 12:22pm If under-aged kids need a parent's approval to get medical attention, watch an R rated movie, get aspirin in school, or go on a school field trip, they should certainly be required to get parental approval for an abortion. Amanda 12/11/07 7:15pm Unfortunately not everyone has kids because they want them. some have them so they can get a check. Seriously...they do. That is not a candidate for a good open relationship with your child. Some have babies to trap a man or to make their relationship work..again bad idea..and these kids grow up and who knows what becomes of them..oh yeah the fourteen year olds that rape the twelve year old girls, the ones killing each other in drive bys and the ones selling dope on the street. Nope, we aren't going to foster a good parenting world anytime soon. Sad to say. However, I personally have thought that people should be approved before they have babies. Bam Bam 12/11/07 4:33pm I am still amazed at how many parents there are that don't take an active role in their childrens lives. Of course there are going to be certain aspect of their lives we don't know about, but, I think if we remain vigilant then most of these situations can be avoided. However, an abortion is a medical procedure...I'm pretty sure your supposed to have parental consent if your underage and that is what we're talking about. But, then I'm not familiar with the Hippa laws regarding minors I would recommend checking your state laws on that. In any event...like I said before if I found out someone performed a medical procedure on my kid without my consent or knowledge it would be a lawsuit of coloassal (sp)proportions and if I could call the police and have the SOB Dr. arrested I'd do that too. I'm very protective of my brood. =) Cindy 12/11/07 8:12am First of all if you got pregnant as a teenager and your parents weren't even aware of the fact that you were sexually active would you want someone else to tell them you were having an abortion? i think not..... i am a mother of 2 and by the way aren't there HIPPA laws Amanda 12/10/07 4:08pm Like I said..it isn't a perfect world and it ain't gonna happen. Gemini 12/10/07 3:44pm Ok, I have had enough. The reason for so many problems with our Countries youth is because of the proliferation of divorce and the lack of family and moral values. It is NOT the schools role to parent our children, and children should not be having children. Until children and teenagers see adults acting and behaving appropriately on a universal scale across the Country, we will continue to have problems with not only abortion, but the entire iceberg beneath. Amanda 12/10/07 2:41pm And that is the reason that a law like this is a detriment. Yes in a perfect world we would help each other (obviously my mind has changed) but this is the real world with all of the fallable and imperfect humans..and the monsters who parade as humans. I know I would want to know if for no other reason than to be there for my child. If that was what she really wanted then well she's my girl..okay. But there are people out there that are horrendous. I would never want any minor to have to make a choice of either a coat hanger or beatings and torture either mentally, emotionally or physically. Zera 12/10/07 9:25am True, but if we as parents makes an effort, we can at least help our own, n who knows maybe they will help their friends. Its about spreading it like waves, make it go around n further n further out. We GOTTA start someplace. Today not many of the teens even know STDS exists n that they can get pregnant at all. As one man once said, their conscience are asleep, n I try to wake ém up!!! Amanda 12/10/07 5:59am Zera I am not so much refering to parents who don't do their jobs. I am refering to parents who are violent and cruel to their kids and would most likely do monstrous things to their girl child. True a lot of parents expect the sex ed and I do think it should be in schools if nothing else to reinforce the idea. I have had friends who were pulic educaters and they usually said today schools are nothing but day care centers for kids and not institutions for learning. Thats sad. Most places birth control is free and minors do not have to tell their parents. I agree with this. I used it when I was young and there was no way I could have ever talked to my parents about sex. At least somewhere I could get what I needed. Education is good..very good but you know it really doesn't stop a person who is determined to have sex whether they are a male or female. Wish it did but it just doesn't. It isn't useless by any means but reality is you just aren't going to stop teens from having sex if that is what they have made up thier minds on. You can however give them the resources to do as much prevention as possible. Zera 12/10/07 3:04am Another food 4 thought, many parents believes its the schools n public service´s that should educate, teach n inform their kids of all regarding sex, sexual deseases, pregnancies n much much more. They fail to see, that it all begins at home with them as rolemodels. I´m with Bam Bam on that all the way. So what if it weirds n creeps u out, but when u desided to have kids u desided to have a FULL COVERAGE upbringing, teaching n raising ya kids. I say GET OVER feeling weird explaining sex to ya kids, it would n a lot more weird when they come n say hey guess what im preggers at the family sunday dinner. Yes Amanda also has a point, that too many parents DONT do their job. Those I rank up a those who shoves the responsinility to school n public fascilities. Im glad 4 those young teens n women there IS a place they can go n get all the help they need IF n WHEN they r kicked from home. Praise them. Amanda 12/09/07 5:15pm Bam Bam you are right. I can't say you aren't. But then not every parent is like you and they aren't going to be and that is what is a shame and an issue. I wish they were and then a question like this would really be needless...but they aren't and as the news papers and other sources report some are just monsters... Bam Bam 12/09/07 3:10pm The fact the kids would go out of there way to prevent their parents from finding out..just goes to show we need to be more involved in our childrens lives. WE can't protect everyone but we can protect our own. Be their parents first and friends after, my kids know I love them more than anything, but, I don't play around when it comes to sex ed. I tell em' like it is. I think when we act like any subject is taboo... then kids will go out of their way to have it even if they know its wrong. We must be open with our kids. Did you know that 40% of college students have herpes? No joke..it's in the JAMA magazine. I tell my kids all about STD's and pregnancies. The last thing I want my kids to deal with is herpes and you can get it by oral sex. It would affect their lives forever and any partners they would have in the future. Their bodies are sacred and they should be taught to respect that. Sorry..rambling here...we just need to be dead on with our kids. Our society doesn't allow the leeway we once had to put our heads in the sand anymore. Amanda 12/09/07 2:55pm It is directly due to the horror stories I have heard about young women and what their parents did to them that I am actually more swayed to protecting the girls rights. I mean physical torture, killing the baby as it is born... Shipping off your pregnant daughter to an unwed mothers home is one thing; but to do things like I have heard if is just well criminal. Heres more food for thought. Making notification mandatory will not stop a young girl from betting an abortion, she will merely seek it illegally and most likely get it. The consequenses is something I really don't think I need to tell anyone one here. But if parental consent were to be put into place it would not stop anything at all, it would only divert it to a much more deadly environment. Been there 12/08/07 10:48pm I was 18 when I had a abortion . I didn't tell my parents. I wish we had better sex education at the time. I didn't know you could get pregnut the first time. Sex education is imprortant. I did tell my parents years later. I have gone on and I am married for 20 years with 2 tennage daugters of my own . I am also a nurse. I would hope my daugters would tell me and ask my advice , it's a horrible thing to go through as a very young women. I wish we lived in a world where abortion wasn't a reality, but I know better. It's easy to sit back and blame it on sex education -either for or agaisn't . This well never be black or white decision. Once it is done you live with it. I know. I regret it but I so understand so well. Sometimes you can't tell your parents because they truly wouldn't understand or would be so not helpful or unrealistic . I remember well how it was , I couldn't tell my folks. Cynthia 12/08/07 7:13pm I agree that some parents may not be enlightened as to the heartache of unplanned unwanted children. perhaps along with parental notification there could be a system set up for family counseling. Girly 12/08/07 2:51pm This is a hard one, I think yes as a last result and depending on the circumatances. Amanda 12/08/07 5:04am Zera one answer to you question is this. A lot of parents in the south at least are dead set against sex education in schools. They firmly believe their teens are 'too young' to talk about that or have information about it. They do not want to have them educated about birth control, std's or any of it. All they want to tell their kids,especially thier girls is not to let anyone touch them. Well Like Bam Bam has said, really they are too young...and lack maturity and the old 'keep your legs closed' admonision goes right out the window in the face of teen love and hormonal rushes. I think the age of consent is 16 here in Florida and in some other states it is younger than that. Now a friend of mine just the other day was telling me of some horrors of what used to happen to girls who got pregnant out of wed lock. I really just do not want to re-tell those things..they're monsterous. It just goes to show that not all parents are good, or even safe and sane for their own kids (maybe a factor of why the girl is pregnant in the first place?) Like I said I do have a daughter that will be 18 in april. On one hand I would want to know, but on the other, if it were not legal and she decided to have a backstreet abortion rather than tell me....well that frightens me more than anything else does. I guess for me it is a 'lesser of two evils' Zera 12/08/07 12:19am Hear hear Bam Bam. Where I live we have laws that starts at age 16, n again at 18. However newests studies shows that kids today starts to have sex at an younger n younger age. Its frighthening to see n to know. Even if u consider urself a good parent once ur kid is out there, 13 or 14 n has sex ........ I may get many a BASH here, but truth is, not many parents know what their kids run around n do. Girls n boys alike ........ tendency that makes me ask, why do we form society so that we need to work n work more n not b home n with our kids, assurring them a proper education regarding sex? I think this bites its own ass. Its like an evil circle. Again do I believe the education n knowlegde of sex n all that goes, MUST n SHALL start at home with US as PARENTS. THATS pur job. Period.!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bam Bam 12/07/07 7:22pm I would definitely want to know, as far as I am concerned with my own kids, no sex is safe sex. They are too young to deal with the emotions of physical love..especially with the complications of pregnancy. But, I'm a good parent and those boundaries are firmly in place. I believe a childs rights are defined or outlined by the parent. If a child is having sex and get's pregnant then the two of them should be grown up enough to admit they did it and be grown up enough to know when they need adult help. Abotions are dangerous to mother believe it or not and if someone performed a procedure on my child without my consent there would be hell to pay. Amanda 12/07/07 5:46pm I had to vote not sure on this one. I have a daughter..but where do my rights end and hers begin. I would want to know, but then again...I just don't know. It will most definately be interesting to here other opinions on it. On a personal level I would want to know because of she had complications from the abortion I would need to know what happened and what to tell the DR. I would want to think she trusts me enough to support her no matter what. She just may not feel that way. On the other hand there are horror stories about parents doing extremely cruel things to their daughters because of the pregnancy. I am personally not a fan of abortion at all. There may be a legit reason the girl does not tell her parents what she has to do or is going to do. It may very well be to protect herself. Let's face it, not all parents are good ones. Zera 12/07/07 10:22am I say yes, bc kids under age won´t be able to care financially 4 a baby. However this do not start once they are pregnant, it ought to start as soon as possible. Parents take charge n do tell ya kids, when u have sex u can get pregnant. No contraceptive is full proof. Further, schools do make sex ed mandatory. All included. Sex, contraceptatives, STDS etc. We don´t juss speal OOOPPSSSS factor here, we speak generations ignorant of more than the dangers of an unwanted pregnancy. Gentledove 12/07/07 5:47am OMG! That's one awesome Question! HAHA!!! YIPPEEE!!!! The parents must be informed about their kid's Blunders!!! Yep!!! That will end the corruption on the planet!!! yay!!! Dovey wants to relax! Peeps will think twice before sleeping with someone!!! ^_~ Bam Bam 12/07/07 4:44am That's a good Q I can't wait to hear comments from both sides on this one. Being a parent yes I think parents should be notified.